CELLULOID BURNING

Rolling Thunder (1977) is The Limey (1999) by way of The Deer Hunter (1978), but with a hook for a hand.

I’ll fess up and admit it.

What originally drew me to Rolling Thunder was the fact that Quentin Tarantino named his production company after it. In my estimation, Rolling Thunder just had to be some sort of crazy gonzo pic full of tits and explosions or possibly exploding tits. I came to the film bracing myself for a cinematic hell on earth in an easily digestible, cheapo grindhouse form. I never expected hell on earth to get kicked off with a cheesy John Denver-ish song, but this is the way the world ends in Rolling Thunder.
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Repo Men is Blade Runner (1982) running with scissors into Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008), but with a better soundtrack.
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Dead Leaves is Ren and Stimpy meets Akira, but tripping balls on mescaline

Some of you out there may remember the short animated series Aeon Flux on MTV. This was when MTV didn’t revolve around insipidly stupid reality show contestants and when kids knew how to stay off my goddamn lawn. It was a cool, stylized, somewhat cerebral sci-fi action series geared towards older audiences with violence, sex, and trippy visuals. Dead Leaves is somewhat like a gonzo version of Aeon Flux that doesn’t take itself too seriously with every available knob cranked to 11 and all gauges firmly in the red.
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Kick-Ass is Spider-Man (2002) meets Ichi the Killer (2001), but minus the disturbing psycho-sexual violence and set in high school.

There are those exceedingly rare times in life when something actually lives up to the hype. This is one of these times, and I am now the kind of overjoyed that Stevie Wonder would compose a song about. I have been eagerly awaiting this film since the first hand-held camera footage leaked from a preview from San Diego Comicon last summer. I felt then and absolutely know now that we have something very, very special on our hands.
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Black Dynamite is Shaft in Africa (1973) meets Boss N*gger (1975), but bigger and blacker-er than either put together.
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The Crazies is Outbreak (1995) meets 28 Days Later (2002), but based on a 1973 George Romero film.
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The Apartment = Mad Men + A Brief Encounter but with the Billy Wilder touch.

The Apartment is the best movie you’ve probably never heard of. You’ve probably never heard of The Apartment because it’s a “little” movie. By this, I mean that there are no buzz worthy bullet points that make the film stand out in anyway. There are no over-the top performances, no action or special effects, and no epic scope or culturally significant backdrop. The Apartment is just a simple yet perfectly executed little love story… but perfectly executing “little and “simple” is a really really hard thing to do.
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The Warrior is The Chinese Connection meets Chinese Super Ninjas, but…Indonesian?

Does the thought of brightly colored, flagrantly acrobatic, old-school martial arts action send blood hurtling towards the swollen and tingly areas of your bikini zone? If so, step up to the bar, open wide, and swallow what I give you. 5 Drink Minimum is open for business, and our special of the day is the Indonesian martial arts fantasy film The Warrior.
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Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief is Clash of the Titans (1981) meets The Goonies (1985), but all shiny and new.

Even as a film fan, I don’t tend to watch a lot of PG-rated fare. In fact, the last kids film I watched was Hayao Miyazaki’s quite charming and G-rated Ponyo last summer. In general, I expect PG-films to be blandly inoffensive and sterile affairs, and tiresomely appropriate for people of all ages. Imagine my surprise when I go watch The Lightning Thief and get something that is more like a throwback to the ballsy fantasy movies for kids we got in the 80’s than anything in recent memory.
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Chungking Express = Chungking Express…

Wong Kar-wai is a flummoxing figure in the cinematic world. He has a large and fervent group of followers, matched by an equally large and violent group of detractors. My way of thinking is that Wong Kar-wai is a Centaur. A Centaur, for those of you rusty in your Greek Mythology, is a mythical being who is part man and part horse. He is every bit the director that both groups preach/vilify at the same time. That is part of the excitment/annoyance one gets when watching one of his films. You never know if you are going to get a film of super human talent or if you’ll be stuck sniffing the ass end of a horse for 2 hours.
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